Losing you
by walnut234
Summary: One day Riza supposedly turns up dead and telling it to the Colonel wasn't easy.  Will he be able to cope with her death? Is she really dead?  Read to find out! Read and review! Royai
1. Chapter 1

Losing You  
A/N: Okay another one from HamHam-Chan and Jackolina-Sempai! Will be continuing 'The Spiteful One' shortly but we just wanted to get this one out for you all. Anyways Disclaimer: We do not own but love writing our fanfics! So this is after the Promised Day, Al has his body back, Roy isn't blind, Jean has his legs! Yay! Okay here we go!

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Chapter 1: A Day of Loss  
The sun shone brightly through the blinds, leaving stripes of golden sunshine on Roy Mustang's desk. His white stacks of paperwork piled high and he was of course, not even attempting to finish them, after all it was only noon. The Colonel's hand rested on the wooden oak as he leaned back in his chair, sighing his mind raced. Lieutenant Hawkeye was late, that was unusual, odd, not normal, and this made Roy feel nauseous. It was too odd, he felt it something was off, he looked at Jean who was currently lighting up a cigarette, Breda and Falman were quietly doing work while chatting amongst themselves. Furey on the other hand was tinkering with some new radio contraption and Ed sat with Al, trying to do some paperwork. There was an eerie silence in the office and occasionally one of them would shift uncomfortably, so they sensed it too?  
"Yo, Chief. You should get that paperwork done before Hawkeye comes in and shoots you till your dead." Havoc said as he took a drag from his cancer stick.  
"That seems like a fine idea," Roy smirked, tyrying to lighten the mood, "But she ain't here yet is she?"  
Ed looked up from beneathe his blonde bangs, "I wouldn't push it."  
"Yeah," Breda added, "She could kill you in two seconds."  
Suddenly, the doors burst open and in walked Armstrong, Denny and Maria. Poor Armstrong looked like he was going to cry, Denny had a pained expression and Maria looked close to tears.  
"Colonel Mustang!" The muscular man boomed, but this time he did not strip and it was not joyus, it was almost choked out. "I am so sorry."  
Denny said with a watery expression, "Yeah Mustang, we are severly sorry."  
Roy was confused, as were the others in the room. "What are you talking about?"  
"Are you kidding me!" Maria yelled trying to hold back tears, "How could you even act so insensitavely? Aren't you even a little sad!"  
"Hold on Maria," Falman stopped her, "What's going on?"  
Furey had halted in his tinkering when the three had entered and now spoke up, "So what's the commotion about? Maria are you okay?"  
"You guys haven't been told yet?" Denny asked.  
The three's eyes widened and Maria covered her mouth, shaking. Armstrong trembled and Denny clenched his fists.  
"What is going on here Major? Lieutenant? Sergant?" The Colonel said sternly, his eyes narrowed and the nausea grew in his stomache. "Did something happen?"  
A long pause followed and Roy gripped his desk, standing up and glaring daggers into the visitors, Maria was first to speak. Words ran through her mind. How could she tell him? She got scared but realized it was better not to keep it from him, he would find out sooner or later.  
"Colonel Sir, It's I-It's Hawkeye..." The three tensed up, as did the rest of the room, the others listened intently and waited. "She-S-She..." Tears streamed down the brunette's cheek.  
"What's wrong with Hawkeye?" Roy yelled, "Is she okay?" Another silence and Armstrong closed his eyes, letting a single tear drop slide down his face. Maria then blurted out the truth with an uncontrollable shout.  
"Sh-She's dead!" And with that she broke down into a sob, the blonde sergant clasped a hand on her shoulder. It was as if lightining had struck the room, they were shocked and only silence followed, even Havoc and Ed were shaking. Roy didn't move, only stared ahead at the three with wide eyes that were struck with a sickening pain. His mouth moved a whisper,  
"D-dead...dead...no...no, no..." The Colonel's knees buckled and he kneeled by his desk, his nausea was at it's peak but it didn't escape. Furey had started to cry and so had Al, Falman only frowned, trying with all his might to fight tears. Breda hid his face, Havoc had just stared at Riza's desk and Ed put a hand on Al's shoulder while covering his eyes. Roy felt ill, he stormed out of the room to the bathroom, sinking down to the shiny tile floor and crawling to the porcelin toilet, after making sure the stall was locked, he let out the nausea. Gripping the rail and the toilet paper holder, he threw up until there was nothing left except bile. Leaning against the stall wall, he let tears flow down his face and he curled up to his knees, crying in the cold, dank bathroom.

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A/N: Whoa! How did that happen huh? (lol drama llama moment) Stay tuned for the next chapter! Please RxR! It's greatly appreciated any consrtuctive critisism is welcome as long as it's friendly. No flames or we will roast marshmellows with them. HamHam-Chan and Jackolina-Sempai out!


	2. Chapter 2

Losing You  
A/N: Okie Doke, So here is chapter 2 and no we do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or it's characters! We just love it! So here we go!

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Chapter 2: Different Sides of the Same Coin  
Roy's sobs hadn't escaped his chest but instead were kept bottled up inside as he tried to calm down. Shaking, he ran a sweaty hand through his matted raven hair and leaned back against the stall wall, lifting his head up to stare at the flickering lights above. The Colonel's heart felt shattered and he lost track of where he was at this point in time, all he could remember was that face...with those beautiful hazel eyes, oh how they bored into him with a stare that rendered a fire within him. And would drive him insane with love and desire but she always seemed out of reach, even when she was just inches away from him. A knock at the door broke his train of thought, he didn't answer it.  
"Colonel. I know you're in there." A man's voice called, small and sort of strained.  
Still, Mustang did not answer Ed, only leaving a small sigh. "Leave me alone." The footsteps of the young alchemist faded across the bathroom tile, then came pounding towards the area where Mustang sat sullenly and -BAM!- the door of the stall shook as Edward slammed into it.  
"Damn it Colonel! Open up this door or I'm gonna break it down!"  
Moments later, Roy trudged up to the lock and it clicked, he slid the plasic slab a few inches to reveal his face to Fullmetal. And his appearence shocked the hotheaded shorty, Roy's face was pale and red around the eyes, he took shuddering breaths in efforts to calm down and he shook violently. The smell of vomit and sweat filled Ed's nostrils, making him sick. Grabbing the Colonel's uniform collar he dragged the broken man over to the sink and shoved his head under a now running faucet. After a few seconds in and out of water the man held onto the sink for support and coughed, while the golden-haired boy stood next to him, close to tears.  
"I'm sorry Fullmetal," Roy said sternly yet something had changed completely in his voice. "You shouldn't have had two see me like that." And with those simple words he stalked out of the room and left Ed confused and alone. There were many sides to Colonel Roy Mustang, the cocky, the ambitious and arrogant, the caring, the angry and vengeful, and of course the womanizing side. But never had he seen Roy like that, not even when Hughes had died. Maybe he would never completely know all of Roy's sides...what a confusing person.  
Later that Night...  
Ed turned a corner onto a quiet street, Al sat quietly next to him, all that could be heard was the puttering of the engine and the small talk on the radio. Suddenly Alphonse clicked it off and asked, "Brother?"  
"What Al?"  
He paused for a moment, "How bad was he? You know, the Colonel?"  
"Well," Ed started, "Just like I said,...he looked kinda...dead inside."  
The streetlamps whizzed by and familiar territory of sidewalks and streetsigns told them that they were almost home. Alphonse loomed over another question in his head before asking it, "Are you sad?"  
Sighing, Edward looked outside at the passing people and an image of him mother flashed in his head, then an image of Riza flashed through too. "Yeah, I am."  
"She was so nice," Al pushed his blonde bangs out of his face, "Why," He began to shake and Edward glanced over with a pained look, "Why does God always take the good ones? First Mom, then Hughes, now her...She was so nice to us even when she was always strict." His breathe hitched and he tried not to cry,(A/N ohmygoshies no alphonse don't cry!) "She reminded me of Mom...I didn't think I could lose another mom." All Ed could dowas stay silent and fight back tears as he pulled into the driveway of his home.  
Even Later that Night...  
A silouetted figure stood looming over the pale body that lay stonelike, pale and cold on the metal slab. A large bullet wound no longer bleeding, but still there and plastered on her forehead covered by blonde bangs. Her golden hair cascaded on her shoulders and her hazel eyes lay blank, staring up at the sky without a single gleam. The flouresent lights eminated a ghostly shadow and an angelic glow around her dead body.  
"Yes..." The figure whispered, sliding a hand on her pale cheek and petting it gently, "She's perfect." A puff of purple smoke and blue lighting zapped, the figure disappeared.

_  
A/N: Alright another one down! (Even more Llama drama in this one) RxR please! HamHam-Chan and Jackolina-Sempai out! Peace!


	3. Chapter 3

Losing You

A/N: Oh my god you guys! I know I haven't written this in months I am so sorry! I actually forgot this was here but now I will try to balance this and the other fics I have! 

Chapter 3: Losing Hope

Roy slammed another shot of whiskey down his throat, it burned and he coughed a little. He called for another, his foster mother leaned against the counter and said sternly,

"Royboy, I'm not going to let you drink yourself to death, you normally enjoy yourself here but you seem to be down. What's wrong?"

The happy-go-lucky Colonel didn't once raise his head the whole time he had been at the bar, except to slam shots down his gullet. He wasn't even flirting with the bar girls or any of the women here, very unlike him.

"Roy?" Madame Christmas asked, Vanessa, the blonde bar girl came up and tapped him on the head.

A couple of the other bar girls came over to surround him. Carrie, a short haired brunette slung her arm around his neck in a cooing voice said, "Aww, Roy? What's the matter babe?"

He looked up to his foster mother, a sight that scared her more than anything. His eyes were red and lifeless, their mischievous gleam gone like a candle being blown out. He was pale and a frown was set permanently on his lips, Roy's face was worn and sick looking, like he was about to vomit. He lowered his head again and sighed. Something terrible must have happened, Roy Mustang hadn't ever acted like this, except for when Hughes died, but even then it hadn't left him looking dead in the eyes. Carrie re-slung her arm around his shoulder, another girl doing the same, Vanessa commenting something that was about to make him spin.

"What's the matter Roy? That stern Lieutenant bitch giving you a hard ti-" Both girls were nearly flung onto their asses by the sheer force of Roy's stance. He had whipped around to face them, his eyes glaring daggers.

"Don't you call her that! She's not a bitch!"

Madame Christmas grabbed her foster son's shoulder quickly, holding onto him even when he forcefully tried to shove it off. Grabbing him she pulled Roy into the stock room.

"You're going to scare my customers if you start yelling like that! What's the matter with you?"

He sighed shakily and plopped down on a large crate of alcohol, hiding his face and trembling. His lips muttered something but it was incoherent to his foster mother, she asked again, this time more sternly.

"What's wrong?"

Finally after a moment or so, Mustang looked up with a blank expression and dead eyes watering with tears. "She's dead..."

"Who?" Chris had a feeling she already knew, but she wanted a confirmation from her son.

"Riza..." He trembled and resumed hiding, trying to control an oncoming sob. "She's dead...she's dead...she's dead..."

She put her hands on his shoulders and he stood immediately, wiping away any tears and storming out. Chris whispered, "I'm sorry..." as she watched him throw open the door with haste and stomp out into the crisp night air. It was amazing to her how one woman could do this to him, even though he flirted with other girls, Roy really never meant any of it. In fact, whenever he got the chance, Colonel Mustang the Infamous Flame Alchemist would brag about his most dearest subordinate. Madame Christmas had heard a lot about her, all from her son of course, and to him, though he never would admit it, she was the most precious thing in his life. Apparently she was pretty, and could be very strict when it came to work, but stories that Roy told of her said that all beneath a cold exterior, she was a light, kind-hearted young girl.

"What was Roy so upset about?" Vanessa came over while scrubbing the bar counter top, "He looked so horrible."

The Madame lowered her head and lit up a cigarette, blowing out her intake she spoke in a softer, kinder voice than Vanessa was used to, "He just lost his life."

Roy's apartment, after the bar...

His hands fumbled in every pocket searching for those damn keys, sighing when he heard the clanking of metal, he then let himself in. Roy Mustang's apartment reflected just how he felt, depressed. There were dishes cluttered here and there, clothes strewn about in his haste of being late for this or that, it was dusty and cold. He guessed the last time he cleaned was, well, never. Normally Roy didn't mind the mess, but tonight it was drowning him. He could recall Riza always saying to him,

"You just love to create a mess for me to clean don't you?"

Her voice echoed in his mind, her stern words, her sentimental speeches about determination and goals, her snide remarks to his jokes, her laugh. He remembered how every time she rap-remanded him for something, the others didn't see the smirk her lips would play across her face, but he did. They didn't see the smile she gave him when she thought he wasn't looking, they didn't see his secret glances with Riza, nor did they see exactly how this was tearing him apart. Now, Roy felt guilty. He had taken her for granted, she had always been there, he thought she always would be, that she could always protect herself, that Hawkeye was always strong in a time of need. But how could she be? All the time? And Roy couldn't remember the last time he said thank you to her, whether it be for saving his life, or for saving him another long night of paperwork. Riza did everything, and for once, that useless feeling took more than just the thought of water, it was her to. _'I am useless! Fucking useless!' _ Mustang thought harshly, _'I wasn't there for her when I should have been! I should've been there! I should've been there! But how could I have been? Where was I? At a bar having fun? Flirting with women that don't matter? God, I'm such an ass! What was I thinking?'_

His hands grasped a bottle of whiskey from the cluttered counter-top, not even bothering to get a glass, he plopped on the couch and swilled nearly the last half of the bottle. Roy felt tears slide down his face, but he didn't care anymore. The glass container fell to the floor with a loud crash, he didn't move. Instead, the drunken Colonel began to sob with his head held into the couch cushion, moonlight dowsing itself upon his pathetic form. Today he had found out that his beloved Lieutenant had died, he was dreading tomorrow, because then he would have to find out why.

A/N: Okay!Done! Again, I'm sorry that this took me so long, if anyone is still reading this, thank you! Please RxR! 


	4. Chapter 4

Losing You

A/N: I was very pleased with the amount of reviews that came in for my last chapter, thank you all! Please keep it up! It really encourages me! :) Anyways! Here it is! Chapter 4!

P.S. 'Greed'? You asked me to check my email? Does this mean you have tried to contact me? Because I can't get into that account anymore, so try emailing me at- okay? lol sorry btw! :) I do desperately need to talk to you.

Chapter 4: Confession

Ed turned the key and let Alphonse in first, entering the tiny, dimly lit foyer. It was a smaller, town house, submerged among lots of other colorful homes, in a nice common neighborhood. One for people to grow up in. A light voice carried out from the kitchen,

"Ed? Al? Is that you?"

"Yeah," The oldest brother replied, "We're home Winry." Upon the boys entering she came up to greet them, it had been six months since she had agreed to move to Central with her two companions, and she and Ed were finally in a peaceful, comfortable relationship. Winry pecked Ed on the cheek and exclaimed,

"We have guests! You're not going to believe who is here!"

An annoyed feeling lingered in the pit of Ed's stomach, his annoying feeling was confirmed as he entered the kitchen to find three Xingese heads munching away on rolls and butter.

"Hey Edward!" Ling waved and gave a very joyous hug, Lan Fan smiled at him while a now older looking Mei Cheng ran to Al, capturing him in a great hug of reunion.

"Damn it Ling," The blonde chuckled a little, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Came to visit, figured if I'm going to be Emperor I'm gonna want to get to know the other countries eh?"

"He came here because he missed you Ed," Lan Fan mocked with a light laugh.

Ling gave a "Pfffft, whatever, so anyways what's new with you?"

Al sat down with the others, saying politely, "Nothing much, I just passed a state alchemy exam and Ed and I work in the Colonel's office now."

"Oh yeah?" Ling said in a gleeful manner, "How is the Colonel these days?"

Ed and Al stopped, horrified. They had forgotten, now the three looked at the two of them and expecting and answer made Al start to shake. Edward was frantic trying to find an excuse, "U-uhh he's fine. Just fine." He lied, making eye contact quickly with Al, they turned their heads down and began to eat without another word. Winry glanced at Ed and Mei Cheng stared at Al, both of their stares boring into them and making them nervous. Ling and Lan Fan exchanged confused glances, finally after trying to eat Ed stood up quickly and muttered, "I-I'm not hungry, kinda tired. I'm gonna go lie down."

"I think I'll do the same." Alphonse followed his brother out of the room, they had to get away from the stares.

Ed sat down on the bed, grasping the linen sheets and heaving a shaky sigh. How on earth could he tell his girlfriend one of their good friends died? The wood door creaked open, Winry came and sat down by her lover, smoothing the pink skirt she wore. After a moment she asked,

"Edward? What's wrong with the Colonel?"

"It's nothing." His lips choked out another lie.

"I wish you would stop lying." Winry sighed and got up, leaning in front of the vanity dresser mirror, she began to take her earings out. "The others are all off to bed now." There was no response from her boyfriend. "And, I saw some interesting looking fruit at the local market." Still the efforts she made did not interest him, Ed just sat with his head down. "I was thinking of visiting Miss Riza tomorrow." Ed choked, trying to repress a sob. Winry rushed over to him, hands on his shoulders, "What's wrong dear?"

"Y-you can't!" He nearly screamed, "You can't! You can't Winry!"

"Edward! What's gotten into you?" She felt fear rise inside of her, "What's the matter? What happened?" The young blonde was fazed, Ed never lost his cool unless it was his temper, but never this. _'Why am I so affected? Why can't I keep control?'_ He thought, the door opened again, the voice of Ling came into play.

"What's wrong?" Another set of 'What's wrong?' and 'What's Ed yelling about?' echoed in the room.

"Brother?" Alphonse had stepped in, "Brother you told them didn't you?"

"Told us what?" Ling asked, Edward whipped around to glare at his sibling, the others stared at Al now.

_'Oh shit...' _ He thought, _'He didn't tell them.'_ The youngest Elric's hands began to sweat, he rubbed his forehead and felt his heart beating a mile a minute.

"Al?" Mei asked sternly, "Tell us what?"

Ed shuddered and looked down again, he didn't want to be the one to say it, full-well knowing his younger brother didn't want to either. "She's dead." His voice was cold and hard, not meant to, but it was the only way it would ever come out. Al leaned his head against the doorframe closing his eyelids.

Blue eyes widened in terror, "W-What?"

"She's dead!" Golden eyes snapped up, tears filling the youngest Elrics eyes, "She's dead Winry! Lieutenant Hawkeye's dead!"

Ling frowned and Lan Fan turned away respectfully, Mei Cheng went to comfort Al, tears welling in her still child-like eyes. Winry collapsed to her knees, "No...this can't be..." She had known the whole time something was up with those boys, in fact there had been a brutal feeling in the pit of her stomach all day, now she knew why.

The Next Morning

A light breeze floated through the air, the morning sunshine was crisp and and cold, usual for a late fall morning. People paraded the streets, adults laughing and chatting, while the children played in the streets or were happily learning in school, perhaps playing at recess. The trees of Central were dead and bare while patches of snow and ice littered the ground, leaves blew around and stuck to the slowly melting slush. Sunlight beamed over the city rooftops and glittered amongst the park lake, it's greenish tint a highlight of beauty. Birds chirped and the smell of freshly brewed coffee emanating from small cafes and nearby coffee shops filled the morning. It was beautiful, and you wouldn't ever have known that there was a soul out there hating it. Roy Mustang glared at the dirt path of the neighborhood park. All the beauty, all the glory of this morning reminded him of her. Once he had trekked this path with Hawkeye on an early morning walk, he had suggested taking a break from work when she needed to take Hayate out for a bit. Her guard had been down, she had called him Roy, she had laughed and even made a joke herself. Riza had stood by the lake, the same light hitting her just perfectly. Roy let out a sigh, why was he putting himself through this? Why didn't he just drown himself in the lake right now? He could do it, he could kill himself right now if he wanted. No, the Colonel would figure out what had happened, he would bury her, give Hawkeye that much at least. She would hate him, be severely pissed at him if he killed himself. Riza's voice echoed in the young man's mind. He recalled a conversation between the two, seemingly only a month ago.

_Flashback_

_"Sir?" She stepped into his office with a tray of coffee and another damn stack of work. "Good morning."_

_"Morning Lieutenant, is that for me?" Riza nodded and handed him a mug, waiting for him to take a delighted sip. Mustang closed his eyes, savoring the flavor, turning to her he replied, "Perfect as always."_

_A smile graced her lips, making him grin and look over his stack, only to sigh glumly, he glared at it._

_"You know staring at it won't make it get done faster, or easier."_

_"I know," Roy said, she began to walk out and he panicked, "U-uh hey Lieutenant?"_

_"Yes sir?" Her hand was on the doorknob, she waited for him to continue._

_"What would you do?" The question confused Hawkeye at first, she turned to him as he stated again, "What would you do if something happened to me? Like, if I died?"_

_He didn't face her, but still could feel those hazel eyes burning into him. _

_"I think you already know the answer to that." Mustang whipped his chair around to see her clearly, nearly spilling the coffee._

_"You wouldn't!"_

_"Wouldn't what?" She chuckled, "What would you do if I died?"_

_"I asked you first."_

_"You know what I would do Sir."_

_"Please tell me you would keep living?"_

_"No promises."_

_"If you ever killed your-... Lieutenant I swear to God..."_

_She laughed mockingly, "And what would you do about it?" _

_"I w-would...I...uhhh...damn."_

_Riza let out another chuckle in spite of his defeat. Just as she reached for the doorknob again he spoke,_

_"You know what I would do right? If you died?"_

_"Colonel, I know that you would keep living, because if you did end up killing yourself you understand that whether it be heaven or hell, I would find someway to shoot you." And with that, Hawkeye left Mustang sitting there smirking, his mind reviewing her words._

_"Oh Lieutenant, you have no idea what I would do to make sure that never happens."_

_End Flashback_

Roy felt tears brim at his dead eyes, his coat flapping around in the brisk wind. Throat burning and hands clenching, his feet continued on past the lake and through the park, into the heart of the city. Onyx eyes looked up at the entrance of HQ and stifling a sigh, he made his way to the Coroner's department with a trudge in his step.

A/N: Okay another one bites the dust! :) Please RxR!


	5. Chapter 5

Losing You

A/N: Alright folks! Here's another chapter for your enjoyment, there will be answers to questions and new questions will be asked. I will be continuing 'Blood on the Bathroom tile' as well as 'The Spiteful One' very soon! Also I really hope this chapter isn't confusing. So, here it is...Chapter 5!

Chapter 5: Causes

Edward got out of the shower, dressing in his military garb he came downstairs to a very depressed group sitting silently at the table.

"Mornin'." The oldest Elric muttered, only getting delayed, quiet responses. Al stood and asked,

"Are you ready to leave brother?"

"You guys are leaving this early?" Winry turned to her boyfriend, "You normally don't go in yet, aren't you going to eat breakfast Ed?"

"No thanks, I'm not really hungry. We need to leave for an early...uhhhh...meeting with the Colonel and everyone else." He replied, giving Winry a peck on the lips and noticing a small smirk on the Xingese prince's face, he glared. The two brothers said their goodbyes and got in the car driving up to Central Command, stepping into a brisk sunshine. "It's fucking cold out here."

"Language Brother." Al retoted to hear Ed mutter a scoff and rub his upper arms.

"Hey Edward! Alphonse!" The shorter man with glasses came dashing up to them, his hand waved in the air and he stopped to catch his breath. "There you guys are."

"Hey, Furey." Alphonse said.

"You guys we need to go to the...Coroner's office. Havoc, Breda and Falman are already here."

Edward raised an eyebrow, "And what about the Colonel?"

"Not here yet." The Sergant lowered his head, eyes glistening. "Anyways, we should go, Mustang will be here soon I'm sure."

The trio quickly made their ways through the halls and down down a few flights of stairs before reaching the Deceased Department. Havoc was leaning against the wall with a cigarette in his mouth, Breda and Falman stood next to the blonde man.

"There you guys are, we were wondering what was taking so long." The smoker said upon seeing his co-workers. "We've been waiting for a long time, though I guess we all really wanted to get here early."

"Yeah, unlike you, not everyone loves being early." Ed snapped back, crossing his arms defensively.

Havoc puffed out a plume of smoke and said tiredly, "Who said I liked being early?"

"Let's just get this over with, I'd rather be doing absolutely anything else right now."

"Agreed," Falman sighed and slipped his hands into his pockets, deep frown lines etched into his face, "This is not very easy for any of us."

Breda added, "I heard Lieutenant Catalina took it very hard, same with Lieutenant Ross."

"While we're on that subject," Havoc asked, "Where's the Colonel?"

The group sighed and looked at each other. Furey timidly said, "Do you think he'll even come to work today? I didn't see him leave yesterday."

"He did." Ed replied sadly, remembering the state of his superior the day prior, "I have to guess that he went home and cried, or something."

"The man probably forced himself to drink till everything was beyond a blur." Havoc sighed, "He did with Hughes, nearly drank himself to death. Only Haw-Uh.." He choked out, "You-know-who was there to pull him back from the edge. But she's not here this time."

"Friends and Comrades!" Armstrong came around the corner, "You all came early, I was expecting to be the first to arrive. Has the Coroner given us any information yet?"

"No," Alphonse said sadly, "We have to wait for Mustang."

"I see. Well then, we shall wait."

It was silent amongst the group once again, they fidgeted, and shuffled feet, silent and none of them wanting to talk about what they were about to have explained. It wasn't until Furey meekly said, I know this isn't the happiest of subjects, but it's not like this day was going to turn out with a rainbow anyways, who is planning her funeral?" that the silence was broken.

Havoc shrugged, "I would guess Mustang...but I don't think he could handle it."

"Couldn't handle what?" A voice came closer from down the hallway. Roy Mustang trudged up to his subordinates, and they noticed it now. His eyes were still red and the normally gleeful, carefree gleam in them were gone, his face looked worn and exhausted. And they all could tell he had a hangover.

"Uh, nothing." Havoc covered up his statement quickly and said, "Is everyone ready?"

Roy would have inquired, but didn't feel like arguing. This was going to be the worst torment in his life, and he was already in a shitty mood. His feet moved him to the front of the group, and he refused to look at them, just keeping a low head and hands in pockets. Mustang lead them silently to the entrance of the Examiner's Room and sat down on a nearby bench, the others doing the same or just leaning against walls.

"Put that Cigarette out Second Lieutenant." The Colonel warned sternly, with a stare that made the blonde man put out his light quicker then he had ever in his life, no hesitation. The double doors creaked open and stepped out, with a man in a brown suit behind him.

"Good, you're all here on time." Knox said looking directly at Mustang, "You would like to be informed of everything I assume?"

He nodded. Then the other man stepped forward to introduce himself, his voice gruff and older, "My name is Detective Bill Krowler, and the reason I'm here is because I'm investigating this case. I offer my condolences to you all, it's a tragic case." The Detective was a shorter, portly sort of man with a blonde mustache that fluffed against his lip. Bill heaved a heavy sigh and turned to Knox, nodding to him to continue.

"Well, let's get started then," took one last look at his clipboard and said, "Are you all ready for what you are about to hear? We're going to explain everything we know and in detail for you. I won't hold back, if you don't want to hear it, leave now." The room/hall was silent, Mustang sighed and put his hands together, resting his elbows on his knees and staring straight ahead. The others just waited until the Doctor continued. "Very well then. Detective? Would you like to say it?"

Krowler sighed and looked at the curious-looking group, "At approximately 4:30 AM, Friday morning (Just yesterday...It's Saturday now) police received a phone call from an older woman living next door to Miss Hawkeye. She complained of strange crashing noises, yells, screams, and a dog barking continuously with no end for a few hours, then a loud bang. When police arrived on the premises they immediately found her. She was pronounced dead at the scene of the crime."

After a solid few moments of tension, Alphonse asked, "Wait, you said scene of the crime?"

"Uh yes Sir, you see, Miss Hawkeye was murdered."

They gasped, Roy's eyes widened,_ 'What? No, how can this be? Who would have done this?'_ it seemed as though a million thoughts rushed through his head at once and again his heart felt shattered. "How do you know?" Mustang asked sternly, wanting an exact confirmation from the Detective, that's when Knox stepped in.

"Believe me Colonel, no one can do something like that to themselves, there is no way any of the injuries would have been self-inflicted, especially since Hawkeye had no history of self-mutilation or any sort of mental health issue."

"What do you mean by 'no one can do something like that to themselves'? Edward inquired as he stepped closer.

"Ah, you want to know exactly how she died?" Knox sighed and looked at the clipboard again, "Alright then, I'll tell you. We found the Lieutenant...well in a very bloody state. She was slashed here and there...bruises and cuts littered all over her body and many various stab wounds to her torso...Lieutenant Hawkeye was totured, from what the oldest cuts tell me, for a few hours at least...torture includes the cuts and she was...savegely raped...Now, the initial death was delivered by a single gunshot to the temple."

No one moved, the room was still and silent, it was tense and uncomfortable. Roy felt as if the world stopped entirely, it was stuffy and he felt claustrophobic and desperately wanted to throw up. Sickened with not only the words spoken but that guilt came rising back up like a balloon filling with helium. His fist clenched hard until the knuckles were white. Colonel Mustang covered his face with his hands and onyx eyes shut tightly, tears stung them again. Detective Krowler frowned and glanced at each of the reactions flashing through the group, shock, despair, anger, and they were all pale as ghosts. He said tried to sound as kind as he could but his gruff voice wasn't exactly gentle.

"It's a tradgedy, the killer must have really been working for the devil to do something that horrible to a beautiful girl like that." His green eyes looked up at them and figured he might as well continue. "We looked over every last crucial detail in her apartment. It was a mess, there was definitely a struggle, tables turned over with papers and other household items scattered about. Blood was splashed all over, in the hall, in the living room, kitchen, and in the bedroom. Now due to the position of the blood splatters and stains, we have confirmed she was tortured in the living room, ran through the kitchen, and shot in the hallway and then dragged to the bedroom." It was hard to hear, the Detective had gathered that much. Her friends seemed attached to her and he guessed Miss Hawkeye must have had quite an impact on the group, which fed their suffering. Now he had always been able to feel people's emotions easily, and the emotion emanating from the Colonel was almost overwhelming.

"Was it some random act or planned?" Armstrong asked, wiping away a tear from his blue eyes, "Is there any information about the killer?"

"Unfortunately no, but we believe it was a planned murder. My reasoning is that most people, especially a very responsible woman living alone, would lock their doors before going to bed. Miss Hawkeye's door was unlocked, and there was no sign of forced entry so it would be my guess that she knew the person. Well enough to let someone into her home in the dead of night. Do any of you know any enemies she might have had? Or had been fighting with recently?"

They all shook their heads, Falman spoke up, making a small choking noise, "No, the Lieutenant was very well liked by everyone as far as any of us could tell."

Roy let out a shaky sigh, his head pounding with pain and unanswered questions, no one knew anything? He couldn't think of anyone wanting to hurt Riza. The Promised Day was over and Ishval was being rebuilt, it couldn't have been a hate crime right?

Knox rubbed the scruff of his beard in anxiety, then turned again to Krowler. "Oh, tell them the strange thing."

Havoc raised an eyebrow, "Strange thing?"

"Yes, I have another question for you all. Would any of you know what the saying,

'The pure is tainted with crimson and anguish, acted by the prodigy and afflicted onto thee, let light live inside before the dark doth cast it's shadow.'

would mean to your friend?" Krowler asked with a serious expression. They all shook their heads making the Detective sigh again. "It was written on the wall of her bedroom...in her own blood." re-checked his clipboard to see if he had missed anything, Krowler went to put on his coat and hat when his eyes widened, he faced the group again. "Oh, and I almost forgot. If I may already put a label on our mystery killer, I believe we are dealing with some deranged or highly disturbed person. Not just from the evidence of the phrase and the cruel, vicious kill, but this person seems to not want to really hurt people. We believe he was sorry for what he did."

Mustang stood quickly and nearly shouted, his eyes narrowed with anger, "Oh so what your saying is that the person who killed my Lieutenant is some weirdo that can't control himself? That it was some kind of accident and that we should go easy on him?" Krowler wasn't as shocked by Mustang's behavior as the others seemed to be, he had only figured as much.

"I'm not saying we should go easy on him. All I'm saying is that this guy is dangerous and out of his mind persay, so for now, give him the benefit of the doubt."

"Give him the benefit of the doubt?" Roy snarled, Ed pushed him back a little and stepped forward.

"What makes you think he was sorry for what he did?"

"Well," Knox looked at his detective friend and adjusted his glasses, "Miss Hawkeye was found not lying on the floor or dumped in a messy pile like most cases. She was found lying in her blood-soaked bed, tucked in as if going to sleep, very cautiously and carefully tucked in."

Krowler said, "Yes, this is why we are leading to think that the killer is deranged and was feeling a large pit of remorse in himself."

"If he's so sorry," Mustang spat, "Then why hasn't he turned himself in?"

"It doesn't work like that Colonel, I'm sorry but you will just have to wait for justice." And with that he walked through the parted group and bid them farewell, adding a "Oh and you may see me again if I have any other questions for you." as he departed, waving his hand and walking out the door.

Roy plopped hard down on the bench and put his face in his hands again, a sickening image of Riza pooled in her own blood, dead underneath her bedsheets imaged itself in his brain. He felt sweat drip down his forehead and a whimper dying to escape his throat as he struggled to maintain normal breathing.

"Colonel, come on." Breda said softly, "We still need to go to work." The group watched as their superior lifted himself from the wooden seat and walk with them. Havoc came to put a reassuring hand on his friend's shoulder, only to have it shrugged off and Mustang walk faster ahead of the group. No one else saw it, but Alphonse did, a single tear make its way down the Colonel's cheek.

Lower East Side of Central,

Small warehouse in the middle of the woods,

6:30 PM, Saturday, November 17th

A dark silhouetted figure sat at a large black table, dark cloaked people sat around it as well. The main man sat prominently and he spoke in a voice so smooth it slithered out like a snake,

"Dracul, how is the plan coming along?"

A man from the right said eagerly, both hands resting on the table. "Well, everything is in place and going according to plan. She is still in the hands of the Coroner, but they plan to bury her soon."

The leader of this band asked another of his subjects, "Vritra? Do you have a date for this event?"

The man sitting across from him said quietly, "On..on this coming Wednesday, the morning that shares the date with the 'day moon'."

"Good," The evil emanating from the top man was purely horrendous and a smirk spread on his snake-like lips, "Good. Everything will work out wonderfully, you all are aware of what is going to happen...and what still needs to be done, correct?"

They nodded, one random member said with a chuckle, "She will be sent to God's door, then we live go from there."

There was a loud cry from a downstairs room, followed by horrible sobbing. The leader snapped his head towards the noise and said sharply to a cloaked woman in the corner, "Hekate! I thought our prodigy was supposed to stay quiet!" She jumped and quickly ran out downstairs. After a moment the weeping stopped and the leader continued, his smile returning. "Where is our dear little helper?" A large oak door swung open from behind the table and three more cloaked men came in, one in the middle being supported by the others because of his struggling. "Ah, Abaddon, it's such a pleasure to have our wonderful little helper." He said slowly and kindly while standing to walk over to the struggling figure.

The cloaked man stopped struggling when his master came over to rest a hand on his shoulder, taking off his hood. His brown hair wispy and thin, he was very tall and packed a little muscle. Abaddon began to cry, whimpering, "I killed her! I killed her!"

"Yes, you did very well my child. You did very well."

"I killed her!" He began to sob uncontrollably, screaming in agony, "You made me kill her! Why? Why? Why? WHY? WHY?"

"Silence!" The master quieted him and put a hand around his heart-shaped face and made Abaddon's blue eyes pierce into his, "It's alright. She will become one with God."

Blue eyes shut tightly, tears still leaking out as his lip trembled, "Promise?"

The leader smiled grimly and said in a sinister voice, "Promise."

A/N: Ok! Done! I am sorry for the delay! I try to beat my procrastination! So what do you think? Please Review! It makes me so happy and gives me so much encouragement! Don't be shy! :) 


	6. Chapter 6

Losing You

A/N: Okie Doke, let's get this chapter going! Thanks for the reviews, alerts, and favorites! Glad to know this story is appreciated! So in return, here is the next chapter! Also, my other stories will be continued shortly, I will try my best to whip them out as fast as I can! :)

Chapter 5: Trance

Roy sat at the desk staring at the sheet of paper in front of him, blankly and his eyes stared at the bold printed letters, them blurring out of focus. He paid no attention and whenever somebody asked him something, it would surprise him as if he had been rudely awoken from a good dream. Except this was no dream, this was a nightmare. His subordinates would look at him strangely time and again, then turn back to their work and for the first time it was actually quiet. It seemed as if time had slowed and nobody moved, or at least that's how Roy saw it. He felt numb as his brain maneuvered his arms and hands to scribble signatures on documents that he gave no care to even read. Occasionally scratching the little stubble on his chin. A day passed as a blur, then two days, then three, and Roy couldn't remember anything he'd done. Just signing documents slowly, barely saying a word and getting home, only to drink and sleep. Mustang realized he hadn't eaten in a few days, or at least anything decent, dark circles painted around his eyes and his fair skin turned pale. To Havoc and the others, he looked ill, or a dead man.

Mustang glanced at the time, the ticking of the clock making his head hurt, the sunlight hardly poured through the blinds which had been closed and dusty for the past few days. He checked the calendar for the first time since he doesn't remember when. Realizing that almost five days had passed since he lost the closest one to him, she would be buried tomorrow and he couldn't do a thing about, now he had to sleep just one more night off.

Roy got his car and drove away from Central Command, a different direction from his usual road. After a few minutes out of the main city, he rounded a curve into a grove of trees, the dirt path swirling dust from underneath the tires, dark green leaves grew on low, twisting branches just two feet above the car. Stars in the sky glittered amongst the midnight blue, a crescent moon rested above a hill in the distance. Mustang stopped the car in front of a beige two story, cottage home, lights illuminating the window and red shutters opened to let light flood the freshly trimmed yard in front. A brick chimney puffed out smoke from a fireplace, the red shingled-roof complimenting the brown bricks. Stepping out of the car Roy climbed up the porch steps, not stopping to smell the roses and chrysanthemums that grew in bushes in the front yard. Opening the large oak door he stepped into the foyer, hanging up the blue uniform jacket, the gold badge with the in-graving 'General' gleaming on it.

"Daddy!" Something collided with his legs, nearly knocking him over. Looking down he stared into burning hazel eyes, a large smile dawned on the small, raven-haired girl's face. Another bundle of blonde hair tumbled onto his other knee, just a little shorter than the girl. The small boy looked up with onyx eyes that matched his own through clear glasses, a smile spread across his face,

"Hello Father."

Roy sighed and smiled widely at his son and daughter, scooping them up into his strong arms and twirling them around happily. The two children laughed and screamed with glee, once put down the girl skipped happily into the next room, dragging her younger brother by the hand. Mustang chuckled and followed them through a peaceful living room into a yellow-painted kitchen. A woman stood at the stove stirring a pot of something that smelled good, she turned around, blonde hair flipped and hazel eyes noticed the newest entry to the room. Riza walked towards Roy with a smile,

"You're home early, how was work?" She kissed him and he grinned,

"Oh the usual," He said casually, "Havoc late, Furey scared of something, Breda eating, Ed arguing while Al tries to stop it, and Falman keeping quiet."

Riza laughed as Roy wrapped his arms around her waist, being cautious of the bump forming on her stomach. "That brings me back," She said, "It seems like things haven't changed too much. I'm glad." He let out a light laugh and kissed his wife again, moving his lips lower to her neck, only to have her sigh and say, "Roy, the kids are over there..." He let her go with a grin, she winked at him and Roy went to sit down at the table with his kids. They ate a meal and talked about each others day, school, work, upcoming events, and a good story or two. The General felt whole and happy, he had a family with the woman whom he loved the most, what more could he ask for?

The raven-haired man flipped another page of the newspaper, reading another article on the uprisings between Creta and Drachma. He felt the presence of someone staring at him, he then saw his little girl in a pink nightgown, brown bear in hand with a smile. He smiled at her and she climbed onto his lap, the little blonde boy followed his sister's example in blue pajamas. The small girl pushed her black hair back and said excitedly,

"Daddy, daddy, are you gonna read us a story?"

The blonde boy pushed his glasses farther up his nose, "Yeah, daddy, can you read us a bedtime story?"

"Of course," Roy smiled, "Isabella got to choose the story last time, Danny you pick out tonights story."

"Tell us about the one where you saved Mommy!" Danny said happily, "It's my favorite!"

"Me too!" Isabella cried, "Please Daddy?"

"Alright, Alright," Roy smiled, his eyes softened at the two children. Recalling the event of then reminded him of what he almost didn't have. Riza walked into the room and sat next to them on the couch, she smiled and patted Danny's head caringly. Mustang smiled and began the story, "Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, there was a Bad Man who wanted to become perfect. He couldn't do that without five sacrifices, whom he had picked out very carefully due to their skill and durability. Daddy was one of them, unfortunately he didn't have one of the most important skills needed to be a sacrifice, so one of the Bad Man's minions tried to hurt Mommy to make Daddy do something bad." Roy looked down at the children's eyes which were wide as saucers. He caught his wife's smirk and gleaming eyes, he grinned and continued. "I was scared and panicked, but you're Mommy was brave and told me not to follow the Bad Man's orders, so I didn't. And then the minion who worked for the Bad Man disappeared all of a sudden, and then a few friends leaped down from the rafters and helped us defeat the bad guys in the room. One of the friends, Auntie Mei, cured Mommy and we survived. After the big battle with Uncle Ed, Uncle Alphonse and everyone else, almost losing everybody at once, Uncle Ed punched the Bad Man and defeated him. Once everybody found each other again and got medical help, we all came together once more, and we all lived and will continue to live happily...ever after. The End."

Isabella's head rested on her Father's chest, eyes closed and wearing a content, peaceful look. Danny yawned and leaned against his mother, a small smile on his little face.

Riza smiled, "Shall we put them to bed?"

He nodded and picked up the two sleeping children, his wife behind him as he put Danny into the lower bunk bed, gently removing his glasses and kissing him on the forehead. "Night Danny Maes." Roy lay Isabella on the top bunk, brushing her black bangs from her eyes, he kissed her on the forehead too. "Good night Izzy." The little girl whispered,

"Goodnight Daddy...love...you..."

He smiled and looked at Danny, his arm dangling from the side of the bed. Roy softly whispered a laugh and tucked him in with a little, blue elephant that lay near his son on the star-pattern bedsheets. Riza smiled and kissed her two children goodnight, taking Roy's hand as they walked out of the room, shutting the door softly behind them.

Roy snuggled up to Riza, his breathing finally slowing from pants to husky breath, looking into Riza's lightly flushed face, into her burning hazel eyes. Just as much in love today as he was the first day he met her. He kissed her on the forehead, on the nose, and finally made his way to capture her lips again. She smiled and leaned into his bare chest, making her warmer and Roy wrapped his arms around her, one hand feeling the small bump on her stomach, a light feeling flooding through him. They created yet another life together. He internally laughed at remembering when Riza had told him she was pregnant with their first child, his overjoyment as he leaped into the air, picked her up and twirled her around, the two laughing and he kissed her. He remembered treating her like she was glass both times she was carrying his child, and how she used to scoff in annoyance at it. He remembered having his children, surrounded by friends and family. Now he had his own, he remembered being nervous about holding Izzy for the first time, she was so tiny and fragile. He remembered the tear that slipped from his eye, and Ed desperately wanting to make fun of it, but holding his tongue. He looked back into the hazel eyes of Riza who lay in the blue sheets with him, in their house, in their bed, in their togetherness. He kissed her pink lips again and stared into her eyes, she whispered,

"I love you, Roy."

Roy smiled and said exactly what he meant, "I love you too. I love you so much."

The loving expression on Riza's face changed to dark and sorrowful, it shocked Mustang. Her voice echoed and resounded through his ears, "If you loved me, then why couldn't you save me Colonel?"

"Wha-what?" He stuttered, his vision changed, the room swirled and morphed into a black nothingness. A small child's laughter echoed behind him. Roy whipped around to face Danny and Isabella, they smiled and laughed, then turned and ran, disappearing into the black. "Wait! Danny! Isabella! Wait! Come back!" He called to them, his hand was to far from them, his feet refused to run after them.

"Colonel."

Roy's eyes widened in disbelief, he whipped around again to see Riza, pale and an inquisitive look on her face. "Riza, you-" Her blonde hair whipped in a wind, except no air blew in the dark place where they stood, tears grew in her eyes as blood oozed from her torso and everywhere else on her body. She looked weak and about to fall. Roy tried with all his might to reach for her, but his feet felt glued to his place, he stared into her eyes calling her name. Riza's eyes widened and a gunshot rang out, blood gushed from a wound at her temple and Roy screamed, "RIZA! NO!" Her body fell to the black and disappeared, his feet still glued to the dark.

"Roy," Riza called out, "Roy," He looked around panicked, "Where are you?" His voice cracked as he yelled, Mustang felt his heart beating fast, clawing furiously at the shadows but still couldn't find her. "Roy," the voice called out, it's tone changed to fearful and Roy felt his arms bind and he flung furiously to move him, struggling to break free. "Roy wake up," Riza said, "Wake up," the voice slowly morphed from Riza's to someone he couldn't identify but it was laced with concern and fear, "Wake up! Wake up Colonel! Please wake up, Sir! WAKE UP!"

Colonel Mustang shot up from the bed, sending whoever was holding him down flying backwards onto the floor. Roy was sweaty and pale, gagging and almost wrenching out the contents of his stomach, which wasn't much. Grasping the wet sheets with his fist, he breathed heavily and began to shake. Looking over he saw a horrified Lieutenant Havoc and Sargent Furey in black uniforms lying on the wood floor, their eyes wide and Furey was close to tears. Neither of them knew what to say, all they could do was look away from each other, after a few moments Havoc stood up and said,

"Are you alright?"

Roy sighed and composed himself and looking up with blank eyes he lied, "Yes I'm fine, I'm fine." Cautiously sitting on the side of the bed he breathed again, wiping sweat from his forehead. Furey had finally gotten up and he turned towards Havoc, a sadness emanating from his form. The Lieutenant looked at his Superior Officer and said,

"Come on Colonel, get up and take a shower, you might want to shave too. Be quick," Havoc put a hat on his head and tossed a bundle of a black military uniform on Roy's bed, turning away from the Colonel and Furey he reminded solemnly, "We've got a funeral to go to."

A/N: Alright, aww I almost cried with this chapter lol I'm so emotional! Anyways, hope you liked! Please Read and Review, I love reviews you have no idea!

-HamHamChan out!


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